It has been a little bit less than 3 weeks since we have been in school. It took me a few days to process what was happening and what was going to happen. Recently reality has been setting in for me. Knowing that my winter guard season was cut short, prom is cancelled, no school for almost two months, and I can’t see my friends or go out anywhere except go on walks. My youth group meetings have to be online, the retreat I was looking forward to is postponed hopefully not cancelled, I don’t know what will happen. Most of all my therapy got moved to online, so I kinda don’t have that space but, at the same time I do. All of these events and things got taken away super fast or got cut to soon. I’ve been feeling on edge and upset recently. There have been many times I have been upset and a mentor of mine always told me to take five minutes to be upset, frustrated, sad, etc… Because why have something so small ruin your whole day. But lately I have been trying to do that but this is a different type of upset. It’s almost like a relapse of depression. I have came to the conclusion that I just need a day to grieve. A day that I can just sit and collect my thoughts and process all of this. It’s like I had all these things and then they got taken away. Here is an analogy it’s like a little kid who has a lot of toys, and one day they wake up and all of their toys are gone. The child won’t take just five minutes to cry or do whatever. They will be upset the whole day and grieve and wonder what happened. That is kinda how I am feeling at the moment with everything that has happened and is happening.
Yesterday I was reflecting on some notes I took when I was watching a live stream. It was kinda like a bible study. It was in Ezekiel chapter 37 verses 12 to 14. It states ”Behold, I will open your graves, and raise you from your graves.” There is more to that verse to but I think you kinda get the point. Like Lazarus and what happened to him. He was dead for 4 days! He was made new and he had the biggest healing ever. We can take some good points from this like even though we are in quarantine and we are devastated, we will be healed. Our testimonies will be a promise for later. It will be a transformation for us!
Some final thoughts that I want to leave you with. In what ways do you see God working in your life? In what ways has God healed you or others? How has God blessed you recently?