Getting real!

So far we have been in school a little bit longer than a month. To be honest there are some days I just can’t believe that I am a senior. Of course growing up I knew that one day my friend group would have there own friend group and so on. Never would I imagine that I would end up ”leaving” the people that have influenced and impacted me the most. I know I will be able to see them again but it’s the fact that I won’t get to see them everyday. Never take people for granted because you never know what will happen or what could happen.

Next weekend on the 26th I will be taking the SAT test. (wish me luck cause I will need it also I am a little nervous about it.) Later after the test I will be getting senior pictures done! You will have to stay tuned for those pictures! Also In October I get the chance to order my cap and gown and all that. Its kinda weird to think that we just started school yet we are almost halfway to the end. Luckily I applied to college early like in the summer so I have less to worry about with that. Kids are still trying to apply or figure out what school they wanna go to and what major. All I really need to do besides the SAT is look and apply for scholarships. Especially since I am going to a private college.

Busy Busy

Man it has been a whole month since I last made a blog post. I’ve been busy with work, school, youth group, and doing my own thing. I felt like I haven’t had the time to just sit down and write. I also forget or I’m too tired to stay up and type out a post. This week is going to be the 3rd week of school. It still doesn’t feel like I am a senior. I also really don’t have a lot to say or type to update on. This will probably be it for now. Just short and simple and sweet.

Acceptance

I have finally made myself sit down and write this blog post. I was going to write a blog post on the way to Chain O’ Lakes with my youth group but I didn’t want to take my laptop or anything else. Yesterday we had a kickball game for youth group and it was raining all day basically but it finally cleared up so we could all play kickball. At first I just wanted to watch and hangout but EVERYONE was playing so I had to. It was super fun and very competitive. When we were all meeting up before we went to the field to play many of us wished we could hug each other. It was definitely hard and like these are some of the people you love the most and probably only see like once a week. I know one thought I have a lot is when will we ever be able to hug each other again. I really do miss that a lot. I know for my small group we would always hug each other. Now that we can’t hug I feel like that piece of me is like lost or gone. Sometimes I feel like it only gets worse over time but I just have to accept it for what it is. Like that one saying ”It is what it is.”

Yesterday I also did some more bible journaling. You can check that out on the gallery page and the bottom is my most recent ones but I will include one of the pages I did on this post so it’s like a sneak peek to the rest of them that I did yesterday. I also got a really important email yesterday. I was nominated to be on a youth leadership team for the Fort Wayne- South Bend diocese by my youth group leader and I applied. Then when I got another email yesterday it said that I was accepted into the leadership program. I was and am super excited for it, so I can’t wait to see where that leads me to.

Lastly, like I mentioned earlier I am going on a canoeing trip with people from youth group at Chain O’ Lakes. We normally take a trip every year and it’s like our last big summer event before school starts in the fall and then we split into small groups. I hope that my group can still meet in the fall in person. I don’t like to be online unless I have to. Otherwise I would much rather be in person and see everyone that way.

positives!

It’s been a while since I posted a new blog post! I’ve been busy with work or catching up on sleep and so on. Tonight was the first night that I got to hangout with my youth group. We all went to mass at the church and then went to the youth center to do some landscaping work and to hangout. We all social distanced and it was a much needed outing. After church my one leader wanted a hug but since we had to stay 6 feet away we put our arms out like we were going to hug and then pretend to hug. It made me realize how much I actually miss giving my friends hugs and receiving them from others. I think that was also something that not only did I take for granted but others did as well. During this hard time I think many people forget to slow down and take time to appreciate all the things they could do before but now they can’t. People used to give hugs, handshakes, high fives, etc and now you can’t do that. Many people including myself take things for granted sometimes and we don’t realize it until a global pandemic hits. I know that this pandemic sucks and it took away a lot but I also think that it gave us a lot to think about and it also gave us new and other opportunities. I know for me it feels like I can actually take a breath and slow down. I felt like before I was constantly busy and stressed and felt rushed. Then this pandemic hit and things slowed down and it gave me that chance to breathe and to recharge myself in a way.

On the other hand I am now a senior! It is kinda scary and nerve racking but it will all work out. Last month I went on 3 college visits and I fell in love with 2 of them. They both have their pro’s and con’s. I will definitely apply to both and hope I get in but I think my heart is set on one of them so you will just have to wait and see! The time that we are hopefully at school this year I want to take a lot of pictures to remember it later. This year it will be my last first day of high school. It’s the last year that I will walk the halls and say my hello’s and goodbye’s to my teachers. It’s the last time I will probably ever have a locker lol. It will be my last for a lot of things in high school.

A busy life

It’s been a busy week and I am still busy this week! I have worked full time basically at my job, I’ve been going on college visits, and just trying to save some time for myself and my needs. I find myself becoming more drained and burnout. I feel like sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and then we feel more drained then normal. We really need to take a step back sometimes and recharge ourselves so that we can do other things and give energy to others. I also was able to do a hybrid retreat with my youth group. We did two hours online and then we were able to go to the church and have mass and adoration right after mass. That definitely helped to remind me that I am in a community with my youth group and that they are people I can always go to for the faith.

On a day like this where I have the day off I make sure to sleep in if I need to cause I have been feeling tired with working almost constantly. Later today I am going to work but I am going with my coworker just so we can chill out and do some bowling and later tag! I think that friendships are very important especially during this time. We should make sure to check on them and to let them know that we are there for them no matter what. I think it is also helpful to try and go out if that is possible. I know in some cases that is kinda hard but if you ever get the opportunity to I would definitely take it. Also it is nice to just get out of the house sometimes.

On a more professional note I have been thinking about what I want to do in college and I am leaning more towards being a therapist. I used to always tell my school counselor that I wanted to be like her and kinda follow what she did and she was so excited and happy. I can do the same thing as a therapist but I don’t have to deal with scheduling for classes. So if you are reading this I still hope you are excited! I could say a lot more but I’m going to keep it short and sweet. As for what college I am going to that is still undecided but it’s a work in progress I am still weighing the pro’s and con’s. I will definitely make an announcement later when it gets closer to the time for me to head off to college. In the mean time you can watch this TikTok that I made a few days ago!

Final remarks: Go text a friend and see what they are up to! Maybe have a conversation or maybe you can spark a good conversation! Let them know you are there for them. Remember if you get the opportunity to get out of the house at all do it even if you have to social distance it is so worth it!

Bible Journaling supplies!

So a few people were asking me where I got my supplies and what I use to bible journal. I will post the pictures below. For my bible I have the Holy bible, The catholic journaling bible. I got mine from christianbooks.com and the tabs that I have are from amazon. I use different pens and pencils so that is up to you! The makers I use are the Crayola super tips. I also have 2 types of highlighters. I’ve been using my neon ones right now but I also have the midliners that I need to start using too. You can get those both at Walmart. Also on the side I have a sketchbook and a journal from Walmart as well. I draw my bible verses in the sketchbook. You can find my drawings and my notes from my journal in the Gallery section of my blog! I use Pinterest for inspiration and I also follow bible journaling pages on Instagram. So that concludes what I use to bible Journal. If I add other things or get a new set of things then I will make a new post! Until next time!

New month tomorrow

Since the last time I have posted a lot has gone on. I have been so anxious for grades to come out and other stuff. I wished they came out better but its okay I just need to retake 2nd semester geometry. One other struggle I have been struggling with was trying to find a nintendo switch. I finally got one and I have almost had it for a week already and I love it. Also I ordered some things from amazon and one of the things were bible tabs. I placed them on and I was so nervous but I love them so much! I only had to make one of my own cause there was 72 stickers and there is 73 books in the bible but its all good and well.

The past few days I have really been thinking about senior stuff like senior pictures and a graduation party and just like figuring out what I’m going to do for all that but I got some time to think and such. One thing that I got to do a few weeks ago was I was able to go to church for the first time! Also with the pastor moving to a new church I want to soak up all the time I can get and have. You have to wear a mask and of course I did just that. When I first seen the pastor in real life I kinda wanted to cry. It was just bittersweet and in his sermon he talked about his move again and I kinda teared up but its okay like I said.

Recently I have been working on my room and my closet. I am cleaning and getting rid of a bunch a stuff and clothes cause I want a whole new wardrobe for senior year and such and I just want new clothes. So I am working on that and trying to reorganize myself again. Hopefully tomorrow I can venture out. I am planning on going shopping around noon so we will see.

Reflection questions: What has been one thing that you have been able to do or focus on recently? What have you done to improve yourself or your environment? What can you do to get motivated or to stay motivated?

school’s out!

I haven’t posted a new post in a while because of school but I am finished with the school work and now I am just waiting for the final grades to come out! Yesterday was the last zoom meeting with our school counselors. I got the idea to make a slideshow for my school counselor so I was hard at work on that! She loved it so much and she started to tear up and also I got emotional too! Also at the same time the staff at the school made a video for all of the kids and it was emotional. Today I get to go to the school to pick up the stuff from my locker. I can’t go in to get it and it is kinda sad but it’s to keep people safe. The staff went through our lockers and put everything in a bag so later I have to go and get the bag.

One physical struggle that I have been having is that everyone is sold out of nintendo switches. I have been trying to find one but no one has one or some people are selling them but it’s more expensive. People are trying to make a bigger profit by selling them for way more than they actually bought them in the first place! I took a break from writing up the blog but I was able to finally to order a switch from the Best Buy website and it is supposed to be here next week! I will probably post again tomorrow or soon. Today just felt short too!

Final push

Recap from yesterday: My day started with me getting up and going to McDonalds for my mom and I. Then I worked on a painting I was finishing up for my grandma for mother’s day. At 12 I had the daily zoom with my school counselor and this week was spirit week and I came up with games. It was scavenger hunt day! I got the list and I told my counselor that I had everything ready and if she really wanted to that I could just run it. She was there for the first item but then had to take an important call. I continued with the game and kept track of the winners. It got to the point I had to improv and google more things for them to find! I then get a text and it says thanks again for your help you are a life saver! I always joke with her that I can be her assistant. At the end of the zoom she said I should bet her assistant and put me to work! I said I have been trying to tell you that! It was funny.

As of today there is only 6 more days of school (E-learning of course!) We only have to do e-learning on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The rest of the week we have off but we can also use them as work days and turn stuff in. Part of me is super excited because then I don’t have to worry about all this. The other part of me is stress and anxiety filled. I just need to turn everything in and make this final push and hope that my grade go up! I can only hope for the best at the same time! I am excited to be a senior but at the same time I am kinda nervous and scared for the future. I just have to trust that everything will work out.

I’ve been adding a lot of pictures to my gallery if you haven’t checked it out recently! Other than doing art in my bible and taking notes in my bible notebook and school I haven’t been doing much! The picture of the painting is the one I did for my grandma for Mother’s Day and she loves lighthouses.

Final remarks: What is God asking of me? How has God been at work in your daily life? What evidence is there that God is communicating with you daily? What personal weaknesses can God take over?

Changes and updates!

If you haven’t already saw my gallery go ahead and check it out! I have and will be posting extra photos there. I wanted to show my journal that I use for my faith really. I wanted to give others inspiration too! Anyways, May is mental health awareness month and i’m super excited for it! Even though this past week I have been having a hard time. On Friday I realized later that afternoon that it was mental health awareness month and earlier I talked about a saint to my youth group and no one heard of that saint. The saint I talked about was Albert Chmielowski. Here is his story. In 1863 he took part in an uprising against Czar Alexander IIII and the Russian army and lost a leg in the fighting when he was just 17. He entered the convent on October 10,1880 but just over half a year later in April 1881, he was asked to leave because of mental illness. On April 17,1881 he was placed in a mental hospital and stayed until January 22,1882. His diagnosis: hypochondria, melancholy, religious insanity, anxiety, and psychic oversensitivity. People considered his state hopeless. He later stated “ I was conscious, did not lose my senses, but was undergoing horrible pain and suffering. I entered the Jesuit convent but God wanted something different for me.” His diagnosis changed later after death to schizophrenia and depression. This change made possible the subsequent process of his beautification.

I chose this saint not remembering that May is mental health month because not a lot of people knew him. I think there was one person that was aware of him and there was like 8-9 other people. I chose to do this saint to tell people that they are not alone and you can become a saint even if you have mental illnesses, disease, etc… Also you are not your illness. It doesn’t define you and you shouldn’t let it define you or take control over your whole life. In the older times if you went to the mental hospital people would think your actually a crazy person or something. We have came such a long way and we know that when your crisis or need more help that you can go there and also there is many reasons people can end up there. It is totally okay to reach out and ask for help. Make that first step to recovery. Like some mentors have said to me, if there was an emergency on the plane and you needed to use the oxygen mask you need to put yours on before you help others. When you don’t have enough oxygen it can make your thinking messed up and be slower. So you need to put your mask on before you help others. This could go for many different things. If you are struggling yourself then you need to get help and take care of yourself before you take on other people’s struggles or problems. It can always make you worse, so you need to always put yourself first no matter what. Otherwise you can’t help others.

Another struggle I have been dealing with is actually my faith. Sometimes it can be hard to trust God and the plans he has for me. I’ve been asking myself and God what good is going to come out of said situation. Just like Romans 5:3-5 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.” Recently with school I have gotten so overwhelmed and stressed out for a lot of reasons and honestly I feel like I am failing at life too. I know over time it will get better at some point but I just have to wait and see.

Final remarks: What is one are in your life where you struggle to trust god? Where is God currently leading you to? How can we move forward and trust God?